she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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