Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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