I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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