i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Im part way to drunk.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
