Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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