I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
