one might say we're banned from that church
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
