I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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