If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
