She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
