just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
