Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
