You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
