i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
