I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
