Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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