I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.