His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?