exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success