3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
