it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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