I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
