You can't motorboat a personality
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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