a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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