I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
