Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I AM VODKA MAN
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
