i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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