I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
