Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
