I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
