I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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