anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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