Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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