U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
