Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
