apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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