would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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