I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
