Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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