lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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