She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
