I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
