Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
