Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
