I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
