I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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