I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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