He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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