apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
