watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
