I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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