i just wanna soil my oats bro
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I want a musical about memes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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