Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
