yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize