good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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