In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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