I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
