OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
