I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
