Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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