I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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