Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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