We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
