She announced her abortion via fbk
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
