If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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