Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
